your room smells of hookers.
And success
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
