I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
