be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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