oh god the rape fog is back!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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