Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
