Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
