I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
