Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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