I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize