you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
