Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize