I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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