I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
