My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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