just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
