If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
