you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
