just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
