Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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