im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
