I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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