stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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