I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need moral support for this bender
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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