the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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