Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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