it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
