That's intense
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Randomize