and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Randomize