so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
