I'm pants shitting drunk right now
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this beer tastes like vomit already
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
