You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
