He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
