I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
nutella sex= disaster
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
