I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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