I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
