This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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