It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
