I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize