So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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