Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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