If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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