Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
