All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i came on her dog
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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