Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize