You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
As shirtless as possible
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
