Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
