Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
