is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
