im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Betty ford says i'm here all night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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