I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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