I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
In America we eat man semen.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize