Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize