FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
