you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
