So drunk its hurt
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
