Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
