I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
