Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Are we still banned from the library?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
